New year, new me?
Hi, hello! Happy new year! Let’s roll some updates:
It’s 2019, I’m 20 years old, and let’s get this fucking bread, right?
I was having a lot of Thoughts a few weeks ago about my writing and where (if anywhere) I see it going. Can I call myself a writer if I’m not getting paid? Are all ‘hobbies’ futile if you aren’t getting money? Are we allowed hobbies at all? I understand the concept of pay me for my time, pay me to do the things I love, pay me because everyone else is receiving the cash dollar, the moola, the british sterling.
Can’t I do the things I love without a monetary incentive? Am I less of a writer? Are the stories I tell less impactful, less serious because they aren’t bound and printed and put behind a pay wall? Entering the fifth month of this blogs activity, I want things to be like this: I write original fiction, I share stories online, I push myself as a writer and I do it because I love it.
I saw something on Twitter a few months ago that kind of made me laugh because why? So this guy said that because he feels so guilty putting hours in at a time on Fifa, he’s started playing informational/educational videos on the background. Like okay, cool, I get it, absorbing information passively is great and I think everyone should continue to learn new things as we get older. But also, why can’t you just play Fifa for a few hours without feeling guilty? If we’re always switched on, learning, getting this fucking bread when aren’t we? When are we allowed to enjoy our time?
Is it only valid if you’re learning or getting paid?
Can I not sit and play sims on a Sunday for the sake of it? Should I have to start a YouTube channel to feel like my hobbies and interests are worth something, that they’re contributing to something bigger than me? Is my time not worth it if I’m not getting validation? And what’s more validating (for some) than money? That’s why this blog even exists, right? Am I even writing for myself at this point?
Tl;dr: We’re all time poor.
What I’m getting at here, for anyone who’s following along, is that I’m sick of feeling guilty for how I spend my time. It’s a construct, it’s not really tangible, but the things I do, the experiences I create are a part of that. So, this blog, I share my writing, I tell stories, I hopefully meet new people who are interested in the things I have to say. And I don’t get paid. I enjoy this. I want to continue doing so.
So that’s my first new years resolution, if you will: just fucking act on my ideas, don’t wait around for the right moment, make the moment happen. I want to write, so why not? I want to cut my hair, why the fuck not?
Other updates re: December:
I found the fan-art someone did for me and I spent about ten minutes crying. I’ll definitely post it on here sometime this month.
I’m trying out this thing called the Comic Sans Writing Technique where you more or less just write with the font set to Comic Sans and it should help you write more. I mean, I was able to rework the start for the next chapter for Me & Your Ghost. It’s a bit early to say it’s working, but it’s definitely doing something.
I might fuck around and start sharing the existence of this with people I know in real life. Doubt it. I do mention it to my mom but she’s not interested so supportive family? Who is she? I don’t know her.
Here are my resolutions/the things I want to do this year. I mean, I actually do have a moleskin journal, but whatever:
Write 100,000 words
Have Serious steps made towards moving out and creating my own physical space
Get a drivers licence maybe? Who knows
Appreciate(??) or even just be aware of the days where I’m not at rock bottom
Read 10 books
I did also finish Fire and Blood. Did not keep a tally of number of death in child birth. Wouldn’t be surprised if the number tops out around 150. I loved the book, mainly because I love Targaryen’s and if only it was actually a retelling rather than hearsay.
Anyways, this was lengthy and rambly and I should keep it all confined to my tumblr tags in the future.
Quick sims update: Moira and Dominic Fyres have now had two (2) more kids. There’s an origin sale so I bought Get Famous for 50%, and I’m going between buying Outdoor Retreat or Jungle Adventure.
This has been fun, I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday season and is entering the new year with even the slightest bit of hope of things getting better.