I got the notification that my domain had renewed and had the quick thought of: “Oh, shit. I should probably post something here.” Here’s an update on the past year and the writing I haven’t done.
I’d been meaning to set up a seasonal newsletter situation since May last year, but between my disaster of a 21st, flying to Prague, getting trapped inside for 3 months, returning to work and being made a supervisor, finally leaving Tumblr (the joke is on me for even using it past 2015) and the pair of new jeans I picked up this week at Monki (great fit. love them) I never really got the chance to see that happen. Maybe in 2021, that sounds pretty fucked up that that will be a year but let’s see.
I also bleached and dyed my hair, living my greatest ginger/copper moment. I want to be more impulsive because it pays off sometimes.
Work and the career that I do not want are pretty hectic at the moment, but I think it’s a Capricorn thing to thrive under pressure. Or maybe I just like having so much to do and have a purpose. Back in Febraury I even pretended to be an extrovert and sent an email out to a marketing agency about doing some content creation work for them, did that, decided that the idea I’d had of it in my head didn’t match up to the reality and haven’t decided where I see that going, if anywhere.
But anyways, about the writing and the ideas and the fact this is the longest I’ve had my laptop on in two months.
Me & Your Ghost Right. So. I did work on M&YG last year during Nanowrimo, which I actually really enjoyed for all that I’ve spoken bad about the process in the past. I got 17k new words out, moved the plot forward but I don’t know what I did. Graham (last name located December of 2018) was acting in ways that I’m not entirely sure are in character? But he’s my character, so surely I should know? To be frank, honest, real, whatever the adjective is, this story that I wanted to tell, these characters that I’ve wanted to give a voice, I don’t know how to do that today.
Graham Salvat and Byron Andrews are like my boys, sure. Me being quirky and sixteen and writing in the whole unrequited love aspect in what, 2014, is very different to what looks like queerbaiting in 2020. I’m coming to terms with the lore and canon that I did, how far I want to deviate from that, and what a world for them looks like now, how I can write that and feel like I’m not only being true to myself as an adult, but seeing out this idea too. Sometimes I feel guilty about even wanting to spend the time on this anyway as a Black woman who wants to one day be published. Shouldn’t I be writing about Black characters, doesn’t representation start with me?
Can’t I just write something a little heartfult, a little tragic, a little hopeful, too? Does it have to be profound to exist in the space? A lot of thoughts, a lot of feelings. It’s definitely not as complicated as I’m making it out to be, for a one and done 15 chapter prequel, but I’m still working through it.
Long story short, I got six chapters written during Nano last year. I don’t think I’ll have the time to do it this year, but maybe I’ll flesh out that middle?
Ha. Sometimes my friend Zoe will be like, oh that bit you did for the O’Donnells was really good and I’m like haha thanks I literally don’t even have a plot point for that other than murder. Thinking about G&G, but will likely leave that alone that story has been told. I envy people able to create in this time, I don’t know how you do it.
Anyways, I’ll be back sometime with something fiction to be read. Might pick up some flared jeans in the meantime. (If 16 year old Keya could see me now!)